Betty’s Big Bad Blog

Like the title?  That’s what came out of Fifi’s mouth less than 30 seconds ago.

I’ve started setting up for Christmas.  Early?  Maybe, but I wanted everything set up for when my dad gets here.  So that the day after Thanksgiving we can decorate the Christmas tree together.  This will be the first time my dad will get to do that with his granddaughters and I thought he’d like that.

However, getting the Christmas tree into the house was probably the most trying experience of my life.  Two years ago, fed up with the loss of the instructions to our artificial, I literally dragged a 7 ft Christmas tree into the garage.  Lights and all.  I left it there.  Last year with SD promising Spider surprises lurking on every branch I opted to leave it in the garage and I picked up some chincy little fiber optic tree.  Blah.  What a way to ruin the christmas spirit.  Really!  We couldn’t even decorate the branches.  Ornaments fell off consistently and I gave up after the little people who run our house systematically took off every glass ball and crushed them all.  So this year I dragged that sucker outta the garage and onto the driveway.  With an industrial size container(1,000 gallons, really is a huge container with a nozzel connected by a long tube) of bug spray, I killed the colony of massive spiders that had built condos and an entire elderly development equipped with a day spa and a strip club.  Once dry I beat the ever loving shit out of it until half the branches screamed in agony.  I then dragged that bitch of a tree into the house, branches dropping off one by one and I shoved it into the corner I had designated Christmas Fucking Corner two weeks ago.  Don’t worry I found the lagging branches and put them back in their places.

I then put up a few other things.  Not everything yet.  Don’t worry.  The rest will go up after Thanksgiving… I promise.  One of the things I did put up was a Santa I picked up a few years ago.  Rather expensive little shit he was.  Anyway while the girls were playing in the front room Fifi decided that she had gotten a glimpse of Old Saint Nicks jewels and announced to us all that the she had in fact seen Santa’s Nuts.

NO GIFTS FOR YOU! Pervert!

I hope he doesn’t take her off his list.  Really wouldn’t be fair.

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