Jul 03
Posted by admin on Friday Jul 3, 2009 Under Mom's Life
I imagine most women think we’re lucky. Lucky that we’ve grown up in an era that certainly shows women more respect in the work place. One that doesn’t restrict us or legally bar us from equal rights.
Originally both my husband and I contributed monetarily to our household. However now It’s mainly me. We used to kinda share in the responsibilities or raising our kids. Now it’s mostly the Man. This is very hard for me. I find myself not feeling like I fit in at home. I’m that person that comes in the door right after the 3rd episode of Sponge Bob has ended.
I think we should have pushed for equal rights and stopped there. We didn’t need to flood the work place. We should have just exercised our rights to never have to work outside the home. Some of us still do that. However men got smart. They realized the awesomeness of being at home and shaping our children. They found out that Oprah comes on at 4 pm central time. They realized that they get a shitload of attention purusing the aisles of the supermarket with kids in tow. They’ve taken over where our ovaries left off. We’re doomed!
This isn’t to say that I don’t like working. This is just me saying that we really fucked up by letting the Men know our secrets. I’m not saying that staying home and raising children isn’t hard. I know that it is. I’m simply saying that we’ve given up our claim to the “tag you’re it!” the “not it” the notorious finger on the nose first gets you out of it sham. We can’t go back either. Men are finding out that they’re pretty good at this parenting thing. That once they’ve got it down, they’ve got it down to a T, and things start to run themselves while they prop up their feet and relax a little. And as they’re relaxing, us idiots of women are hanging out in rush hour traffic and eating lunch in our cubicles.
I only wish that I had called “not it” before my man realized that he could do a better job at being a patient and loving parent.
Jun 29
Posted by admin on Monday Jun 29, 2009 Under Mom's Life
It has been decided… I’m a selfish lesbian.
I’m not really but that’s what my husband thinks.He’s told me time and time again sexually I’m selfishI won’t deny thisThe lesbian part I willHe thinks because I don’t get particularly turned on by the sight of flaccid or intimidatingly taut penis I must be a lesbian.Here’s the thing all guys should know.Now maybe this is just me but I don’t think so,the penis is not attractiveIt’s creepy looking.To be honest if one popped out of my closet at night or peeked out from under my bed I’d piss myself and run screaming like a bitchEven dressed down with out it’s furrow of mammoth hair it’s still not an attractive sight.
The only thing about a penis that draws me in and allows me to drop my panties is the idea of a good screw. Seriously! Otherwise keep it covered!
Now this being said I’ve never once thought that my party parts were attractive, they shouldn’t be put on display or worshiped.They have multiple functions and only one of them is pleasingThat would be the screwing partWell I guess producing crotch fruit… but I take that thought back often when the little mini me’s monopolize the TV or my computerOh and when they eat all the chipsSave me some now and again you little twits!
Now the sexually selfish part is something I can’t get over. Sex isn’t sex if at least one person involved does not climax.That one person is me. Here’s the thing, guys masturbate all the time. They do! Girls do only every once in awhile. I’m not going to say I don’t that would be a lie. I’ve been married 9 years However I feel since I don’t jingle my junk numerous times a week that my needs should be met first and then if there’s time you can do what you gotta do while I organize my thoughts and think of something to eat. This is not to say I’m uninvolved. I usually always get the party started. I have my fun then I’m ready to call it a night. Not my fault you’re a lingerer!
Just saying.
So yes I’m selfish and the penis is not attractive. Those are facts and they don’t make me something I’m not! I’d work on these apparent horrible attributes but I like the way I am. And to the Man, you married me you’re stuck with me! Don’t think I won’t chase your ass down if you try to leave! I’ll send my mini me’s out to get you!
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Jun 28
Posted by admin on Sunday Jun 28, 2009 Under Mom's Life
You watch movies… lots of them. We’ve had a few air quality control days recently. It has also been well over 100 degrees outside. So we’ve stayed inside and only ventured out if necessary. Last night after we had been inside all day my husband decided that we all needed to go to McDonalds and Walmart. Gross! I’m not a fan of fast food and neither are my kids. But we went and we all got something that sounded edible. Then we were off to Walmart. Fifi and I stayed in the car and listened to music. Actually she scrambled to the front of the car and played with all the buttons on the radio/cd player. This for some reason gave her a thrill. She thanked me for it.
This morning at the gas station I was again embarrassed by my crotch fruit when they started to chase each other around threatening to sniff the others butt. Why?
Moses got her hair cut yesterday, looks adorable. Fifi thought about getting her hair cut but she likes her long locks and thinks long hair is pretty. In the car after the hair cut, Fifi told Moses that she still was pretty even though she cut her hair off. I’m pretty sure she didn’t think Moses was pretty she just wanted to be nice.
Oh god I have to share this, the were in the pool earlier and we had the hose in there to fill up what had been splashed out. Of course they decided to grab the hose and spray their party parts. Yelling for the other to come get their butt appointment… WTF?! The man stayed out of it and promptly went inside. Thanks bro, I just turned off the hose and ruined their fun. Little Nasties!
You know when you buy really quality shirt, nice fabric, pretty colors, and your realize you were such and idiot because they all say hand wash or dry clean? Yeah I’m pretty pissed at myself. I’ve been trying to find ways not to take things to the dry cleaner. Not that I have recently but I hate the smell of dry cleaned clothes. I only took my BDU’s a few times and the one time I took my blues they came back discoloured and smelling like BO. Not to say I don’t sweat, I do! Just not enough to ruin my clothes. Actually little disclaimer here, I don’t sweat, I perspire!
We’re about to go and BBQ, we’re just waiting for the sun to start sliding away. I love warm evenings but try to stay inside between the hours of 4 and 7. That hateful Texas sun!
Jun 24
Posted by admin on Wednesday Jun 24, 2009 Under Mom's Life
Since I now have a job in the real world I get up early and don’t come home until dinner time. Yeah I guess I should be getting dinner ready right now but um… crap I don’t feel like it. I’ll check the freezer for something I can throw in the Microwave. OK that sounded really bad. Since most people in the Military get up early and don’t get home til late. I just didn’t have a job the last year that required long hours. Thankfully!
Monday we established new rules in our house. The girls push their dad around too much and have gotten really mouthy lately. So mommy had to come home and be the heavy. Don’t dads usually do that? Not my man, he doesn’t like to upset his girls. I understand that and I hope that they realize how lucky they are that they have a dad who is concerned about their happiness and mental well being. Anyway, they have been taking advantage of him. Not cleaning up after themselves, demanding he does things for them rather than asking, in general they’ve been really rude and disrespectful. So I took away TV, video games, access to the computer and implemented new rules. They don’t like them and have been fighting them but hey that’s what you do right?!
Initially I took the TV away for a day and told them they couldn’t watch TV until the next day at 1. I should have specified Am or Pm. Moses got up at 1 in the Am and went out and watched TV. When the Man found her she told him that I told her that she could watch TV at 1. He found out that I did not specify morning or afternoon and let her watch TV. We both couldn’t stop laughing at her ability to find the loophole in everything.
Oh one more thing, I got these shoes at Nordstroms the other day and they had to ship them to me since they didn’t have them in stock. So they arrived today but they went to one of our neighbors house. Of course I had just gotten home and changed out of my “Grown Up” clothes and into a skimpy dress. One you shouldn’t bend over in. Anyway I had to keep the dogs from going out the front door and get the shoes at the same time. So yeah, I bent over to grab one dog and reached for the shoes at the same time. He got a good show… if you could call it a show. Seriously there isn’t much to show. Crap I have nothing to show. though I do have a few bras that I would like to thank for creating an illusion.
That’s it all I’ll be doing some catching up on my favorite blogs again hopefully I can make it through them all by tomorrow night. You all better have some juicy content up for me to read. It’s been awhile for me.
Jun 21
Posted by admin on Sunday Jun 21, 2009 Under Mom's Life
I’m on terminal leave from the AIR FORCE! I signed out of my squadron on Friday. Very exciting. I also start my new job on Monday. I completely ransacked Nordstroms the last few days. I’ve got one colorful wardrobe. And my shoes… so pretty.
Alot of really great things have happened this week. The man finally got his disability rating from the military. All for his crazies. He got a new doctor as well and he gets to see her in a week. I got a job, moved on from the military and well, feel like crap.
That’s the problem when too many good things happen at once, you shart! No really you’re waiting to get on base to finish out processing, get terrible tummy cramps, lift a cheek and pass a little gas to alleviate your tummy pain and WALAFUCKING WAH! I had to pull over and run into McDonald’s. It was horrible, but as I told my husband in text, “my ass won’t stop me from out processing!” I have food poisoning as it turns out. I’ve been hanging out in the bathroom for the last few days. I ate like 30 bananas today. I feel better. I felt good enough to go to Nordstroms that is.
That’s all for now, I’m going to lay down for a while. My stress is pretty much gone and I’m very excited to start my new job on Monday, I may be more excited to get to wear nice girl clothes.
